Consider this. Maria, head of her
department, has a concern about the
dedication of one or two of her staff
members. Maria learned somewhere that it's
not good to embarrass anybody in public, so
at the next staff meeting, she says: "I
have some concerns about some people in our
department who seem uncommitted and
unwilling to go the extra mile. I want it
clear that we need maximum effort from
everyone." And, she leaves it at that.
Is this a good way to approach the issue?
Well, it certainly
doesn't single out anyone, hence avoiding
public embarrassment. But how do you think
staff will react? First, each and every
person in the room will wonder if they've
somehow offended the boss. That's ALWAYS the
first reaction to what we call
"insinuation". The next reaction is: "Oh,
right, Maria must be talking about Jethro
(or some other coworker." Perhaps more
serious is the effect this type of
communication has on trust. Because of the
lack of clarity and ambiguity, it wouldn't
be surprising if staff began to doubt the
boss's honesty or straightforwardness.
Insinuation isn't used
only by managers. Many people use it rarely.
Some people use it often. Each use of
insinuation increases distrust, damages the
work environment and has the potential to
trigger very destructive conflict.
So, what's insinuation?
Insinuation refers to a statement that is
ambiguous, vaguely put, and generally
negative. The nature of insinuation is that
it is deniable, and that's one reason why
people use it. It avoids addressing issues
straight up and directly and therein lies
its destructiveness. The use of insinuation
pushes solutions much farther away because
it disguises the issue, and creates
additional mistrust.
Here's another example.
Over coffee Mark is talking to Fred, one of
his coworkers. Mark says: "I don't want
to name names but it's pretty obvious that
someone around here isn't interested in
anything but his own job." Can anything
good come from this? I doubt it. It isn't
meant to SOLVE the problem. It isn't being
discussed with the right person (who would
obviously be the person that remains
unnamed). It's just sneaky, deniable
back-stabbing.
So, What Can
I Do?
First, if you have
something to say don't cloak it in vagueness
or insinuation. Realize that such remarks
won't get anything solved, and are liable to
make things worse for everyone, including
you.
Second, take some
responsibility. If you have a concern, then
have the courage to take it up with the
person in question, in private, and try to
work it out. Don't snipe from afar. If
private conversations fail, then it may be
appropriate to bring it up in a more public
setting, but present it in the spirit of
solving a problem, and make sure you take
responsibility for your comments and
opinions.
Third, understand
that people use insinuation when they feel
uncomfortable with expressing their anger or
frustration, but can't discipline themselves
to keep their mouths shut. Or, perhaps their
frustration levels are so high, they aren't
thinking clearly. If you are tempted to
insinuate, ask yourself this question: "Am I
saying this in the spirit of trying to solve
a problem, or am I saying this because of
some selfish motive or because I'm too
uncomfortable to approach this
constructively? If it's the latter, don't
say it.
Finally, keep in
mind that every time you use insinuation you
will be seen as less courageous, more
manipulative and less trustworthy by the
majority of people who hear you. This
applies even for people who might
"congratulate you" on your insinuation, for
they, too will realize that your next target
might be them.
© Copyright Robert Bacal,
2000 . Reproduction in any form, electronic
or print is forbidden without obtaining
permission.
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